So I want to preface this by saying that I generally love P!nk. I love her sass and her take no shit attitude. She’s a strong woman, not just physically but in other ways. I admire her honesty and the fact that she does what she can to keep it real. She doesn’t come across as the type to make excuses. It’s been publicized and she’s been somewhat open about the fact that her marriage isn’t perfect, nor has it been easygoing with her husband. I admire her for not shying away from it when so many other celebrities spend thousands of dollars on spin doctors to maintain a certain image.
All that said, I found this disturbing…
I feel like this is important and people are laughing it off. The truth is, it’s not funny. Destruction of a person’s property because you’re stressed or having a bad day is not acceptable. P!nk prides herself on being a feminist. Well, that’s supposed to mean equality between genders. That means when women behave in abusive ways, they get called out for it.
At first she says that it wasn’t that long ago this happened. I suppose that’s a subjective way to put it because she then went on to tweet that it happened in 2003. Fifteen years is pretty long ago. She has many fans who weren’t even born yet at that time it happened. It matters because now she’s married to the man who’s property she destroyed and had children with him.
I sincerely hope this isn’t behavior that is still going on.
I really hope that if it is, their children don’t witness it.
The fact that she’s laughing about it rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, sure, we all do dumb things we wish we hadn’t. She doesn’t seem to be too upset or remorseful about this. Maybe she’s not. I just can’t help but feel like if the shoe was on the other foot there would be a mob of angry women demanding her husband be arrested, that P!nk file for divorce, and that he never be allowed near their children.
And yes, obviously women are more likely to be the victims of domestic violence. I am very well aware of that. That said, it doesn’t mean it’s okay to let it slide when women are guilty of the same things we tell men it’s not okay to do.
If some dude slashed my tires because he was stressed out, I would run like hell. That is not someone I would be willing to work things out with. To me that is a massive red flag. Domestic abusers don’t generally get better; they get worse.
I made the mistake of being honest on Instagram and saying that I didn’t think this anecdote was funny or cute. Here’s what I got back:
The double standard needs to go away that it’s okay for women to act all crazy and men should just be okay with that. I can’t tell you how many memes I’ve read that joke about how if a man’s not scared, she’s not the one. What the hell kind of toxic, fucked up ideology is that to aspire to? If you’re afraid of your partner, that’s definitely not the right one.
Believe me, I understand that no relationship is perfect. Couples go through ups and downs, and I agree that too many people give up too easily when things get hard. One of my favorite P!nk lyrics is: “Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face.” I GET IT.
There’s a big difference between thinking about doing something and actually following through. I hope no one looks at this clip and thinks that since P!nk did it, they should do it, too. Whether she asked for it or not, she’s a role model to a lot of young women. I would hope that fifteen years later she would go on the record as saying that this is not an okay way to treat someone, but it’s especially not okay to do this to someone you love.
That’s not love.
If you or someone you know/love is in a relationship where they are at risk for domestic violence, go here for help or call 1-800-799-7233.
Edit: This incident happened in 2003, which I consider to be more than “not that long ago”, and Carey was drunk at the time. He was trying to leave and P!nk didn’t want him to drive while intoxicated. That changes the landscape of the story and were important details that were left out. Context matters. My opinion was formed based on the video and I stand by it. 🤷♀️
Meg In Chicago 